where your secret fantasies dare to be
by Ami Renee
Was I really ready to give up complete control? I had to think quickly, even though the question caught me completely off guard, I knew I only had a moment to answer him before he decided that it wasn’t worth the effort and left me. These hypnotic words were swimming in my head as I decided to answer him:
“You don’t remember my name/I don’t really care/can we play the game your way? /can I really lose control? /Just once in my life/I think it’d be nice/just to lose control-just once/with all the pretty flowers in the dust…”
This was something that I was totally unprepared for. I was scared and excited at the same time. My body was shaking and warm. He wanted me to give up all control and let him do to me what his innermost desires wanted. He never stated what that entailed, but I decided at that moment, looking into his glassy eyes and seeing his body quivering and sweating, that I either needed to give in, or lose this man to fantasies forever. I could not believe that these quivering words came out of my mouth so soon.
“You can do with me whatever you truly desire, my love.”
A sigh escaped his trembling lips and his eyes became dilated in an instant. He turned me around so my back and bare ass was facing his body. He grabbed both of my arms in a move that was both severe and tender at the same time. I knew that the move was a deeply held desire, yet it was as loving and tender as if it was a moving embrace between soul mates.
A blindfold was placed over my eyes, and a strong hand held both my wrists behind my back, which surprised me, to say the least. My heart started to pound in my chest with such a force that I thought he could see the tender muscle as it was going into spasms through my skin. I was amazed at how dark everything had become, especially when I tried to open my eyes and get a glimpse of things through the small edge of the fabric.
I could hear him breathing heavily in my ear and it was a sound that an animal would make. It was a heavy and growling sound that made the very core of me shudder and break out in goose bumps over my entire body. I could only breath more heavily to match the tone of his breathing and my body reacted in such a way that I could have never expected. The heat of his breath, so close to my ears and neck, as well as the way he held my wrists so tightly that I could not move if I had wanted to, and the fact that I could not see anything, made the animal instinct in me stir.
My body started to move in a way that I never knew existed. I started to buck my hips into thin air, hoping that I would touch something that would release this feeling that was building inside me. I arched my back and threw my head back, hoping to find his mouth and devour the sounds that were emanating from the depths of his throat. I did not find his mouth, but he found the tender spots of my neck and became an animal of the night like I had never seen from him.
His knee found the spot between my legs that had become drenched from the sounds and heat from him. He lifted his leg and rubbed his leg against my pussy lips while he held my wrists and grabbed my hair, pulling back my head until I was almost choking. I parted my legs to allow better access after a moment, and he stopped, leaving me to question if I had done something wrong.
I felt silk on my arms and back, though I didn’t know what was happening, and could only take a deep breath knowing that this is what being a true submissive was all about. He lovingly wrapped the silk around my wrists in a fashion that he knew I could not undo, but was not so rough that a version of “Gerald’s Game” would be played out right now.
As he spoke no words, my breathing became deeper with each slight movement of the silk around my wrists, as I anticipated the next move. I did not know what was to happen, and yet my body responded as if this was a normal occurrence. My chest rose and fell in rapid succession as the final knot was made. I stood in the deafening silence.
I could hear his steps as he moved from behind me to the right of me. I heard a drawer open, and I could only imagine what was to become of me. I was his to claim as his possession this night.
I stood, frozen with fear and excited about what would happen next. I could hear a sound, though I could not place what it was. A second later I figured it out.
The sting of the leather made me jump forward almost an entire foot and I began to question why I had ever agreed to give up this much of myself. He grabbed my hair and pulled me back to a standing position and caressed my ass to soothe the welts that were forming from the initial blow. His next words, which were to be his last for the night, made me melt into him and give utter control over to him.
“I will never truly hurt you. I want to control this tonight, and I promise that you will be able to do the same to me on another night. I want you to beg me for release. I want you to beg me to stop the pain and give you the pleasure that you seek. I want you to ask me to caress the places that ache from the pain I inflict upon you.”
I responded with a deep breath inward and a small meek sound of “As you wish…”
The next movements were quick and deliberate as he pushed me over the bed so my ass and pussy were exposed to him in a way that no man had ever seen before. I could do nothing but breathe and anticipate the next movement from him.
After what seemed like an eternity, the next blow came. The sting reached from my clit to the small of my back. The pain made me take a sharp breath inwards, but after the initial sting, the warmth that consumed the raised skin became apparent to my entire body. As I waited for the next sting, a new sensation overcame me.
He ran his hands over my ass and snatch so smoothly that it was if there was a piece of satin being placed over my body. He smoothed the tender red marks on my body and I could hear his slow breathing being replaced by a deeper and more intense sound. I could only imagine how his eyes had become wider and glassier with each moment.
I moved my hips against his hands as I was unable to see what it was I was doing and my hands were unable to gauge how excited he had become. He took a step away from me, but did not move his hands away from my body. I realized that one hand was not on me when I realized that the next sting came, just as I had opened my legs further for him.
The pain was almost too much, but it was still calling to me as if it were a drug. I could not give in to him the way he wanted me to, yet I was finding myself doing just that. The leather found more of my cunt than the rest of my body and it was as if it was my favorite disease that I curse, but felt as if it was what I deserved.
I began to cry out in pain, but the words to make him stop would not fall out of my mouth. I had always refused to give up complete control but it was the one thing I was dreaming of for so long.
He rolled me over and used the leather as a feather, teasing my entire body in such a way as to make my skin desire the very thing that had brought pain before. If I feel pain at least I know that I am alive. If I feel a teasing and wonderful feeling, it is as if I cannot decide if it is reality, Heaven, or Hell. I need to know if it is real or not, and pain seems to be the only thing that I can truly see as reality.
I raised my hips to each of his teasing strokes. My breath became more labored with each stroke of the smooth whip that was in his hands. I began to cry out, not in pain, but begging.
“Fuck me…Just fuck me…I want your cock inside me…I want you to fuck me like you’ve never fucked anyone before…”
Before I could say another word, his thick cock was piercing my tight and wet pussy. My hands, still tied behind my back, wanted to grab him and pull him tighter to me. I ached to grab his ass and pull him to me with each hard pound of his dick in me. My eyes were open under the blindfold and yet they were beginning to roll to the back, so the blindfold was not needed.
The sweet smells of his musk and my own juices were beginning to overwhelm my nose. It made my hips rise to each of his strong thrusts and made me begin to moan in a sound that was as if it was something other than myself.
I moved my legs to wrap around his hips to gain more control. His powerful arms pushed my legs to the bed as if to say “This is my game, not yours.” I hated the feeling, but gave in completely at that moment.
He grabbed my ankles and pushed them towards my head. My entire body was beginning to ache. The feel of his cock pushing against my cervix was an almost unbearable pain, but his thumb that began to rub against my clit at the same time made me forget the pain and started to bring me to a place of pleasure that I had never known.
I pulled my hips as high as I could and I cursed myself for letting him bind my hands. I felt one of his hands slide down to my ass. I was in a state of ecstasy that I had never experienced before. His fingers began playing with my ass as he pounded my snatch and rubbed my clit.
He was able to get one finger in my tight ass as I ground myself into him. After only a slight moment more, a second and third finger were able to find their way into the deep caverns of my ass. The feeling of his fingers in the secret door as well as his cock deep in my pussy and his other hand playing with my clit was driving me to the point of no return.
I was beginning to throw myself against him, rolling my head from side to side. I heard myself making noises that I only thought were faked in pornographic movies. I began to beg him.
“Don’t stop…please don’t stop…please don’t stop…”
My pussy contracted and released faster and harder than I had ever known before. My legs began to shake and I began to hold my breath as the waves took me to a place higher than I had never been before. I screamed out in a way that nobody had ever heard from me before. It was a cry and scream of pleasure, added with the contractions of my pussy that were mixed together in a sound that brought him to the ultimate point of no return.
His thick cock pounded my pussy only a few more times and I could hear his own cries of release as his tempo slowed. His breathing steadied and a few more thrusts into my spasming snatch completed before he pulled his dripping cock from me. He slowly moved towards me, and placed his dripping dick to my mouth. I hungrily sucked the sweet mixture of our juices from him so he would not have to leave me.
Not a word was said, but he untied my hands and he removed the blindfold. The room was pitch black, even when my vision returned, so it took a moment to find his mouth when I turned to him. The kiss that was shared between us made the last scene play out in our minds again.
The last thing going through my mind as I drifted off to a deep sleep wrapped in his large arms and chest kept the dreams vivid.
“Does he trust me to let me take total control? Is he a strong enough man that he can give up everything and let me dominate him completely?”
Read more of Ami’s writings at Ami’s MySpace .
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