Mid-life couples that communicate and practice intimacy are having great sex! [Source: Pixabay]

So, the preconception is that your best sex is going to be in your twenties.  Maybe early thirties.  But after that, its all downhill.  Especially if you’re married right?

Not necessarily so.

According to a study done by Trojan, couples in mid-life are actually getting it on more often than you might have thought.  And they’re not just having more sex than you  might think, they are enjoying it.  And even trying new things!

Some points from the study:

  • The study focused on the sex lives of men and women from 40-59 years of age.
  • 65% said their last sexual activity was very pleasurable.
  • 92% of the men and 88% of the women felt that sexual health and their sex lives contributed towards overall health
  • The majority felt that their sex lives were emotionally satisfying.

The Toronto Sun spoke to Dr. Robin Milhausen, a sexuality and relationship researcher at the University of Guelph who said,

There is a public perception that as we age, sex becomes less important, less enjoyable and less frequent…most midlife Canadians are indeed leading satisfying and active sexual lives. Sexual and relationship satisfaction were highly interrelated – and the most emotionally satisfied in their relationships reported the highest level of pleasure. So the future looks bright for midlife Canadian relationships.

Now that’s awesome to hear if you’re a Canadian!

Some of you might find this all hard to believe and wonder why you’re not having such great sex in your relationship.  Well, one of the things that the study found was that communication and intimacy were two factors that came into the equation.

First, if you want to have good sex with your partner, your relationship needs to be stronger than your sex life.  That means you have to have conversations.

Guys, that means that you can’t come home from a hard day at work looking for the stress release of banging one out with your wife if you don’t talk to her!  You absolutely need to have some conversation about stuff that is not child/work related.  Sure, you can talk about that stuff, too.  But how about asking her about how her volunteer activities are going? Talk to her about something that you both can be interested in.

And ladies, I know a lot of people don’t think this, but it goes both ways.  You want him to do that thing that he used to do for you when you were young and in the honeymoon stage of your relationship? You need to find a way to get him to slow down and that means that he needs to relax.  Does he like having his shoulder rubbed? Then do that.  Does he like to watch a sport game? Give him the time to do that uninterrupted.

The bottom line? You both need to have time to enjoy some things while apart and some things together.

And when it is all said and done and you’re both laying there naked, panting, and satisfied…stay there!  Take some time to just stroke each other’s bodies, talk, smile, maybe giggle a little.

Put down the phones, turn off the tv, and be together.

The rest will follow.